her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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