idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
