I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
