just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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