We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
