I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
