Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
