i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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