JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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