I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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