Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
