i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
