Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He shit in the fireplace
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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