I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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