He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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