My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
