Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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