she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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