Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize