Plan B is the new Plan A
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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