i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
