i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
