Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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