Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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