Porn is love you can see.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we made out on top of his cat.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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