That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
