What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
