My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
