One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
