Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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