sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
