i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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