i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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