we're blogging at a bar
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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