If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
