I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
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I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
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youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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