I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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