Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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