Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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