was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
