STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
