we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How does it feel to date your dad?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
