come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
