are you still at the devil's house?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
jump out the window naked night went bad
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
