i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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