how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
