I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
