No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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