if i can run in heels then i can drive
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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