Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the day after is always just damage control
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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