So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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