yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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