sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
