ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
