dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
lol hangovers are for mortals.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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