He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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