is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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