It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
