I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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